Why is it that good people tend to end up in relationships with not so good for them people? And I believe I can speak confidently on this subject. Having been in a few dysfunctional relationships and observed many more from the outside, I think Im becoming a resident expert on such things.
It definitely pains me to see a friend in a relationship we all know (even him/her) is not the right place for them, but for whatever reason we choose not to end it. Possibly its that misery loves company? Possibly its that we've grown so accustom to the problems facing us we don't even see them anymore, or we've just accepted them and resolved ourselves to living with them. The conflicts and fights are there more than ever, yet they don't seem so bad because we've become desensitized. We just no we're feeling discontent with that status quo.
As the outside observer, I can see the problems and as the listener I've heard the unhappiness in the voices. And I can't say it hasnt happened to me. I've been that person to afraid to end a bad relationship. Either for fear of being alone or for just it just being convenient to always have that other person around... if only to have some one to go to a movie with.
In the end it comes down your mental well being and happiness. Sure there will be arguments and disagreements in any relationship. And one will have make compromises for the good of each other. But when one person is doing all the compromising and your time spent with the "significant other" is less fulfilling and joyful than time spent alone, it may be time to move along.
I do believe there is that perfect somebody out there for everyone... I dont know why I believe this, I just do. I've seen it happen only once... and that one instance gives me some hope... You can't force some one to be that person if they're not. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how much work you've put into, sometimes a relationship isn't worth salvaging. Cut bait and run, and learn form the experience. It will be painful for a short time, but the wounds will heal. And you'll more likely to find your self stronger person when you come out of it. And you won't be alone, there's family and friends around who will be the support u may need.
Heres a hint, we're all afraid of being alone, but its not so bad all the time. You can do what you want to do and be a little selfish, its OK! And you get to know yourself a little more and be comfortable with just you. So as I approach 30, Im realizing that its taken nearly this long for me to become 'comfortable in my own skin. I dont think I'm quite there yet completely, and there's things I would like to change, and I'm working on that. It will come, in due time, And then she'll be there! It may happen tomorrow or in 10 years... but I have faith.
It definitely pains me to see a friend in a relationship we all know (even him/her) is not the right place for them, but for whatever reason we choose not to end it. Possibly its that misery loves company? Possibly its that we've grown so accustom to the problems facing us we don't even see them anymore, or we've just accepted them and resolved ourselves to living with them. The conflicts and fights are there more than ever, yet they don't seem so bad because we've become desensitized. We just no we're feeling discontent with that status quo.
As the outside observer, I can see the problems and as the listener I've heard the unhappiness in the voices. And I can't say it hasnt happened to me. I've been that person to afraid to end a bad relationship. Either for fear of being alone or for just it just being convenient to always have that other person around... if only to have some one to go to a movie with.
In the end it comes down your mental well being and happiness. Sure there will be arguments and disagreements in any relationship. And one will have make compromises for the good of each other. But when one person is doing all the compromising and your time spent with the "significant other" is less fulfilling and joyful than time spent alone, it may be time to move along.
I do believe there is that perfect somebody out there for everyone... I dont know why I believe this, I just do. I've seen it happen only once... and that one instance gives me some hope... You can't force some one to be that person if they're not. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how much work you've put into, sometimes a relationship isn't worth salvaging. Cut bait and run, and learn form the experience. It will be painful for a short time, but the wounds will heal. And you'll more likely to find your self stronger person when you come out of it. And you won't be alone, there's family and friends around who will be the support u may need.
Heres a hint, we're all afraid of being alone, but its not so bad all the time. You can do what you want to do and be a little selfish, its OK! And you get to know yourself a little more and be comfortable with just you. So as I approach 30, Im realizing that its taken nearly this long for me to become 'comfortable in my own skin. I dont think I'm quite there yet completely, and there's things I would like to change, and I'm working on that. It will come, in due time, And then she'll be there! It may happen tomorrow or in 10 years... but I have faith.
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