Gotta keep rollin', gotta keep ridin', gotta find what's right

Some days you're just cruising along on the road of life, and it's honestly looking a little boring. You kind of know which way your going, having seen the map before. You don't necessarily like the destination that seems to be inevitable, but you know at some point a junction will come into view, and an opportunity to change directions will present itself. That's life. Occasionally while you're busy looking for that junction and trying to scope out where that turn will take you, a fork pops up in front of you and you didn't even see it coming.

I've seen to have hit that fork. I've seen it before, however last time it led to a dead end. This time???

So, while I've been toying with finding a place in ATL and resuming the commute or buying something in Louisville and making it a more permanent home, exterior options have presented themselves. Quite unexpectedly at that.

As I was making arrangements to view potential residences in the dirty south, and thinking "Hrrmm, I got a bit of a plan going", I get an email that suddenly has me reconsidering it all. And it's a BIG change.

So, as we all do when we come up with life decisions, I sought out input from those close to me. It's amazing how varied the opinions can be. The complete spectrum is reached, from "I think it would be a great experience and you should go for it" to "I don't think I like the idea of you moving to the other side of the planet" (Ironically that came from the other side of the planet... albeit from a temporary resident).

I think it shows that I have some great and varied friends to make some input (and at least one family member who's cool... but she's trying to move to Oz so...). There's obviously some financial considerations that have to be met before proceeding. And though I thought I made those clear in previous conversations, you never know.

And it would be a boon for one of my planned new endeavors. If I was to do some serious travel writing, the opportunities this move would open are immense. Either way, as soon as I settle on a blog name and get going with being grammatically correct for the first time since my freshman year of college, I'll be making trips here and there and chronicalling them in a way that will hopefully become a source of income. Which will allow for more here and there travels.

SO, next week at some point I should be getting a phone call and the negotiations will start. Again, I'm kind of apprehensive that it will be financially gainful for me.. I mean I gots bills to pay and as we say in Amurica... "It's all about the Benjamines"... or in this case all about the Makhtoums. One of the things that keeps running through my head is a quote that I was thinking of using for my blog name...

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

At any rate, I'm moving forward with what is plan A, a place of my own in the ATL. I'm headed down Monday to check out a potential short sale property. I do have some reservations (like can I afford it and will the FHA buy that my primary residence is in a different city than my job). But the price is too good and the location too nice to pass up on at least checking it out further. And, as Grace pointed out, it's only about a mile from the Brick Store Pub. What an amazing coincidence!

So, stay tuned for news on.... something. At the very least a new blog to read. And thank you to everyone that's listened to me waffle on things of late, I appreciate and value all the input. If you would all get together and come to a unanimous consensus it would be easier deciding, but then again what fun would it be to have friends that all thought exactly the same.

I suppose it's time to go cook up some lunch and get ready for work.... ugh.

Listing to Port

For the past few weeks I've been feeling a little like a boat tossed about on a stormy sea.  That feeling seems to have started months ago, prior to my jaunt to the far side of the world.  I guess it started with the self critical rehashing of my last job seeking endeavor.  I didn't feel positive when I left, and thus I felt even less enthused about much else.  It's no secret I'm not the most contented person here in Louisville.  And I really blame myself for that more than anything.

When I came here almost four years ago things looked really rosy.  Major airline, good pay, and a love interest.  The realities of the work environment set in slowly.  I work with some great people, but the corporate attitude leaves something to be desired.  It has to do with my lack of tolerance for disingenuous people.... especially when they are my "superiors". 

The bigger issue though, since work stays at the office when I walk out the door, is the social calendar. The first years I was here I wasn't actually here. My life was still 450 miles away.  The year of having weekends off found me running to the airport on Friday afternoon and jetting south, either Atlanta or Birmingham.  Then I took a weekend midnight shift, which was a dearth to a social calendar. I did however make the acquaintance of a few people outside work, but really who rocks out on a Wednesday night in Louisville?

So, even though my drivers license says I'm a Kentucky resident and my tax returns list this as my primary address, I never fully moved here.  The blessing (or curse) of free flying allowed for the jet setting life.  Now the question comes, do I want to maintain that?  

The last couple weeks I've been halfheartedly looking at potential homes to buy here.  Unfortunately, the housing market hasn't tanked in the way it has in ATL.  And I have high requirements, sort of champagne tastes on a beer budget.  But with some budgeting  I could make it work to have a place here and there.  Though... For how long?  The prospects of satisfactory employment in Atlanta have all but dried up. 

This was on my mind for a good part of my jaunt around Southeast Asia, and since I've been home.  I was thinking of just making Louisville the home, but this past weekend I went back to Atlanta for the first time in 2 months.  And suddenly, the draw has returned stronger than ever.  

I think it comes with the ability to call up some friends on moments notice and suddenly we are gathering somewhere.  Or maybe it's the fun that is a Braves games in the summer, or GT football in the fall (with a sprinkle of some Auburn football). I'm sure once the Lewii and TanJoe return the attraction will grow in intensity. Even though they're settled into the old, married people routines. :-P

There's the attraction of close by family, even though of late that's been the cause of more stress than help.  Nothing terrible, just years of avoiding certain truths that are no longer ignorable. I am lucky though, everyone worries about how I feel.  I feel fine.

This weekend found me at Turner field with Jersey, both of us resplendent in our new Braves jerseys, numerous visits to Taco Mac with Jersey, Charity, Genna, Erika, and Ed at various different times, lunch with a gleeful Maggie (more on that later), and the most surprising meet up with some one from way back when.  You know, back in the day when I went to Sunday school.  I guess I haven't seen Ginger since I graduated high school.  And through the miracle of Facebook, we ended up meeting for food, drinks, and drag queens.  And it was a blast.

Now, lunch with Maggie and Jack (who turned 1 year old today!!) was inspiring.  Jack is looking great, and given his less than ideal start at life, is a modern miracle of pediatric cardiology.  After lunch at Thai Spice (Maggie's choice...  I assured her after a month in Asia I could handle more Thai food because it's amazing), we did some shopping. Since momma needed to find clothes, I was babysitter.  Of course, all the ladies there commented how adorable Jack was and asked me all about him, and of course I just shrugged my shoulders. "How old is he?" *shrug*. " He looks like he's got some sun already, where?" *shrug*. I'm sure the random strangers believe me to be the worst father ever.  Luckily, I'm not the father...  Not that I'm opposed (totally) to kids, or that Maggie wouldn't be a fine wife...  But I'm just not a big enough douchebag to compare to the real father. But at any rate, the reactions were fun. 

And while at lunch, Maggie proposed an idea I find intriguing, and slightly frightening.  After some further research and encouragement, I'm seriously contemplating her proposal. Look for details soon.  It should be fun, and potentially lucrative.  But I mostly think it'll be fun.  

Now it's back to the grind.  Today is laundry day.  With the exception of a load I flew with me to Atlanta (and thanx big time to Jersey for not only for the bed to sleep but use of the laundry facilities) I have about 2 months worth of clothes to wash.  My apartment is a disaster area, and laundry is the first step.  Returning home to a non functional dryer allowed for the laundry pile to reach Himilayan heights.  And now, there's a leaky kitchen sink to deal with.  Well mostly for the landlords to deal with.  But the mess of wet cardboard under the sink was mine to handle.  I'm also getting back on the diet.  While still way to the good side, I'm putting on weight.  And I don't like it.  The new schedule, as much as I hate midnights all the time, will help with it's consistancy.  If only I can get my sleeping  pattern down.

I suppose I shuld get back to the laundry, since apparently it won't put itself away...  I know I tried to wait it out. I have a list of other things I need to do...  Starting with learning to be a better proofreader.  

"Welcome to the real world" she said to me, condescendingly. Take a seat,

Coming back from vacation sucks. It can't be helped. The stepping back into the life you left behind can be painful. In my case, pain is caused by an unhappy stomach and lack of sleep. Today I go back to work, if I can find the office. I'm not terribly excited at this prospect.

In other mundane news, I returned home to a non functioning dryer. Luckily before leaving HCMC Grace was nice enough to lend me laundry space, so most my clothes were clean. Of course, it's not really shorts and t-shirt weather here, but it's nice to have a supply of clean underwear. The landlords promise a new dryer by Wednesday. So the mountain of clothes continues growing in my bedroom. It's not improving the cluttered, disheveled state of my apartment. No one broke in and cleaned while I was away like I hoped.

Also, I've returned to bare cupboards. My fridge was void of food (well food that belongs to me and not my roommate). There's even a lack of beer. I managed to eat myself out of sustenance before leaving, which was planned. I however haven't felt the need to remedy that since getting home.

This morning however, it was time. Off to Kroger I went. As my jeans are tightening in a way that's not flattering, it's time to get back on my diet and return to eating healthier. And that doesn't apparent involve buffalo wings or pommes frites with vinegar mayo.

One of the pluses of traveling to the places I've been to the change back to more processed and, for lack of a better term, "factory grown" food. You know the kind, steroid injected chicken and heavily chemicalized fruits. I suppose it's luckily that in the midst of the winter I can still find "fresh" mangoes, but it's not the same as having them pulled from the tree and made into a shake ( more like a smoothie) or seeing the fields of pineapples where a fresh one can be pulled and cut right in front of me. March, the barista at the new coffee place that popped up across the street while I was away, has the life goal of drinking from a coconut. I assume she has other life goals, but this one was mentioned after we talked about my trip and mentioned while in Mui Ne being able to pull a coconut from the tree, cut it open, and insert a straw. I mentioned she should work to make that goal a reality, and it should really happen on a beach for the full effect.

Even though we get "fresh" fruit at the local grocery store, it just doesn't taste as fresh as when you can see it on the tree.

Now, I'm trying to get back into the grind. Reluctantly. My mind is putting up a formidable resistance. Tonight, my first night in a month and half working a desk, should be a challenge. I'm sure there's been a litany of new procedures I'll need to deal wih that have been added in my absence, and they'll most likely just add to my aggravation.

On my mind of late is sort of "now what"? Since the move back to Atlanta is seemingly not in the cards for my future, what do I want to do with my life. Still not sure I'm cut out for life in Kentucky forever, but do I want to do a commute? And my plans to purchase a home have been tossed into a whirl of indecision... Should I just give in and settle here or keep looking for somewhere else... Or buy in ATL?

On the other hand, one of my regular bartenders and pals in the Louisville area was happy that I'd still be around and believes that it must be for a bigger, better opportunity to find me. We'll see.

For the short term, it's going to be business as usual. And it truly could be so much worse. I'm ready for another vacation, well I will be once my laundry is done. Maybe the next one will be more permanent, I could be one of those societal drop outs that forever inhabit a beach in a third world country, where winter, careers, and family drama doesn't seem to reach. Idyllic maybe, a dream definitely. But it's such dreams that makes dragging into a office and enduring harsh winters more palatable.

At least until I can run away and live the dream.