insomnia sucks ass

I'm in a mood. And we all no why by now. The whole Delta thing really got under my skin. Just when you think you've done everything right, and everyone tells you that you're perfect for thejob. You find out, you're not. Like everyone, I don't do well with rejection. And yet I feel that I should have it down by now.

Yes, I'm being overdramatic, but deal with it.

I guess the part that really is getting to me is that I've always believed, thanx to Tommy Allen, that if you want something and you work for it, you can get it. That nothing is beyond your grasp if you are determined to have it. And until now, thats played out. Anything I've pretty much wanted, I've gotten. And not in a spoiled sort of way. Most everything I've done in life I've worked for and got on my own.

And today, I'm doubting that philosophy. I hate to think that some one out there who knows me for an hour can judge me unfit for anything. You go in and do your best and poof, I'm not making "the cut." I'm interested to know what the cut was? And no offense Grace, if I got passed over for the hiring of a group of ASA dispatchers, I'm going to be really disheartened.

And yes I know, if you did your best and thats all you can do. But theres a line I used to quote when the workgroup would say we did our best but the plane left late or we did our best but we just couldn't carry the full load... "Losers whine about doing their best, winners go home and f$%k the prom queen."

Well, today there is no prom queen in my bed.

I apologize for being kind of down and probably will be for a few days. I'm working on it, except for the moment I'm not feeling as if I'm making any headway, I'm trying to keep in mind things will work out for the better..... i'm trying. I hate losing.