Time in new england took me away to long rocky beaches

Looking back at my schedule over the past couple weeks, and looking ahead to the end of the month, I notices that I've managed to not work any Fridays. That equals the general greatness that is a three day work week. Except this week, I have it down to a two day work week. The long weekend ahead promises some amusement and general frivolity, and getting ti done on a tight budget has been the goal fo the week thus far. Well, the goal of the week since yesterday.

I'm fairly upset with the Avis rental car company. I shouldn't be, but I am. They've seemingly determined that I was finessing the system to get the lowest rates possible. Sure, it took a little effort, a MARTA ride, a 2 block walk through downtown ATlizzle, but would sve about $50 for a weekend rental in taxes paid at the airport. You could still drop the car at the airport and fly fly away. Well, seems they've raised the rates downtown to compensate for that, and since the airport is in "College Park" and not Atlanta, there's a one way rental fee. This is all new this month. So, it looks like I'm driving south this weekend.

Otherwise, I have just returned from a lovely weekend in New England. As in the past, I've really enjoyed the scenery and vibe of the area. And of course, I enjoy the company of my gracious host. We took Christine on the nickel tour of the area, accumulating for her five more states to claim visited.

On of the other amusing things about trips to Adri's is the randomness of places we end up, usually some one's house who's having an impromptu gathering that I seemingly crash. And this time was no different, and included margaritas, which after the lime juice was exhausted became tequila slushies. The area seems for the most part to be a slice of old Americana with roadside vegetable stands (many operated on the honor system being devoid of an owner in sight).

This was the first summer trip I managed up there, usually I tend to go during high season for the fall foilage, and the one trip during the dead of winter (I do not do well with cold). So this time, it was a lush green landscape.


Unfortunately, on Monday, Adri had to return to the grind and Christine and I absconded to Rhode Island. I think we determined that we are not fans. Rhode Island, for the most part, is guilty of blatant false advertising. They claim to be the ocea state, but it's more like the long boring road state. Which, ironically, is more a function of the scenery than the actual distance, being a tiny state. The other issue is it's not an island at all. Again, misleading the world. We finally found Newport (and the adjacent ocean) and marveled a the touristiness as well as the excessivity of the homes. Seems this is where all the rich folks from Manhattan came to get away from the city. It's hard to imagine having a second home that could house roughly the entire population of the small town I grew up in. Some were nice and tastefully kept, some were a bit over the top. I can imagine the residents of the "low rent" district of Newport having annual incomes 10 times my own.




After that, we headed to drop Christine at the train station in New Haven for her triumphant return to the Dirty Jersey (and hopefully a new swimming pool in front of her house).

Again, it was a great weekend away. We always seem to eat so well and meet such interesting people up there.

Now this weekend, I'm heading south for a wedding and associated festivities that accompany a Lewii visit to the ATLizzle. Not sure what's all on the agenda, but I'm sure sleep will be the lowest priority. Then I have a week to figure out how much my budget for the impending vacation week is, and how far it will get me.

In medical news, the bills are rolling in. Woohoo! And My latest doctor visit has found my enzyme levels back closer to normal (40 points high in one case, but down from 300 points high). Still no clue why the elevated, but we're gonna keep going as is. S i'm done with medical visits for a month (hopefully).

In political news... I'm over it. I'm looking for a nice banana republic I can move onto a beach and start my own bar and airline to provide service to said bar.

Otherwise, it looks like August is going to be a slow month for travel, mainly because i have to pay for July (in both money and paying back days I owe for working 3 day weeks all month. I know some of you out there think I'm always on vacation... but it's not completely true ;-)

I suppose i should get busy getting ready for the trip south. Apparently no matter how long i wait the laundry won't wash itself and then jump neatly into my suitcase. Later!

A window on the world.

I seem to have lost the urge to write frequent and interesting blogs. I'm sitting here this morning thinking about possible things to write about, stuff that's on my mind. Most everything that comes to mind seems like a bunch of whining the more i try an lay it down. I mean I have a couple "problems" that really are just ridiculous that I think of the issues as "problems", like where to go on a vacation. Part of the annoyance is I have so many options, part of it is I can only reserve free seats on our planes on certain days. Yes that's write, I'm seriously bitching about how many days a week I can fly free to foreign lands, and having too many potential options to choose from. Who wants to come slap me now?

The mre serious issue is monetary. I have money to take a frabjulous trip somewhere, but some time in the last month I became a little miserly. I do have plans for the cash I've saved, and of course I'm worried about the potential extended medical leaves (though that seems less and less likely). ANd there's this more recent phenomena that involves me not wanting to go to exotic, if slightly less savory, locations. WTF? What happened to being adventurous? That being said, once I get my head out of my ass and get over these non-issues I'll probably take off somewhere interesting.

So, I'm doing some people watching this morning. I've got a fairly nice panoramic view of the street, with the occasional interesting mix of characters passing by the window. The one thing I do enjoy about Louisville has to be the eclectic mix in my neighborhood. For instance, a middle aged couple in their Sunday best just parked their red Porsche (that I'm seriously thinking about stealing) and are attempting to cross the road, only to be nearly taken out by a shirtless, inked up youth on a skateboard.

Or the young girl who just nonchalantly jabbed a syringe in her leg while sitting at an outside table. I'm assuming it's most likely a medically required injection. But whens the last time you watched some one, in the middle of conversation, pull out a needle, inject themselves, put it back in a case, and then continue to drink her cappuccino?

Then across the street, at the Irish pub, a bicycle club has just finished their ride. Their all decked out in neon spandex, and drinking water or coffee (I'm guessing since alcohol cannot legally be served before 1 PM). I think the most amusing part is they've probably road miles on the bikes, only to load them in the backs of SUV's and minivans to drive home. I find that amusing for some reason.

OK, subject change. In medical news, I' seem to be doing ok with the previously known issues. For instance, I'm not having any new back pains, the numbness seems to be waning ever so slightly. A second blood test revealed my abnormally high enzyme count as normalized, and I don't have any liver diseases or hepatitis (which given the places I've been in the past it was actually possible... I have now been vaccinated against Hep AB to make sure that' not an issue in the future).

However, a recurrent issue has popped up over the last week. About 4 year ago afte a particularly painful week I was diagnosed with gout. For those who don't know it's a type of disease cause by a high level of uric acid in the blood, and it essentially feels like some one jamming a a spike heeled show into the joint in my foot. Through the reading and research and doctor visits, I found out that certain foods can cause it. Also, beer is a big cause. There's also some lifestyle factors. But there's a lot fo we don't know factors (for instance people with high levels of the uric acid never have gout, and people with low levels do... weird). It wasn't long after this episode that i started my fitness quest.

Well, this past weekend I had attack number 2. I'm blaming the oysters I had Friday night (and not the beer, since I've been drinking beer for 4 years with no problems and shellfish are known causes). SO, after a week, my foot still hurts, but it's manageable with drugs. But seriously, can I not be well for a month straight? And yes I know beer is a high causal factor, but I've actually i the last month cut back on my consumption. I have a theory that alcohol is the thin filament that holds my body together, and going for weeks at a time with out a drink is causing me to fall apart.

Now for the agenda for future weeks. I'm spending this weekend in Louisville, doing nothing really. It's a holiday weekend, and that in itself makes nonrev travel tougher. Combine that with my temporary gimpyness and that I'm planning to be gone the next 2 weeks at least, possibly the next 4 depending on my vacation plans it just seemed like a good idea to stick around the place and catch up on my DVR and netflix.

Hopefully getting out the next few weeks will help the restless feelings I've been having... or the urge to get the hell out of this place.

My head aches -- warped and tied up I need to kill this pain

It's been a week since I hit the limits of my mortality.

That may be a bit over dramatic, but when you wake up unable to feel parts of your leg there's a certain about of concern that sets in. Since then, I've seen 3 doctors, had my insides scanned twice by two different means, and been stuck by 3 needles to take my precious blood and test it. The last part really sucked since I've been only ordered to give up two blood samples. The extra jabbing was just to aggravate me apparently.

The results??? Well... looks like I'm going to live for now. Let's address the issues separately:

Issue one, as carefully detailed ad nauseum in the last blog I have the lack of feeling in parts of my leg and bum. This week I saw an actual neurosurgeon and have a little clearer understanding of this particular ailment. The piece of disc material in the spinal canal that blew out of the disc between the L4 and L5 vertebrae is constricting and pushed against some nerves. This is causing the numbness or tingling. The disc (which is a spongy cartilage type substance contained in a membrane) has a rupture, which allowed the chunk to be broken off. For now, I'm not to do any heavy lifting or extraneous activity involving the lower back so more material isn't ejected until the membrane is healed, which happens naturally (think a cut on your skin). The disc material, once outside the membrane, will dry out and be removed by the body.. sort of dissolving in the spinal fluid (which pulses with your heartbeat.. who knew?).

As for the feeling, the sensory nerves will in time regain their feeling. According to google, the Mayo clinic, WebMD, and any number of medical related websites, this takes from 1-6 months usually. According to the doc, the sensory nerves take much longer to return to normal than your motor nerves. As long as I don't lose any motor control, there's no call for surgery. The downside is I have to maintain vigilant watch to make sure I'm not having issues controlling myself... whether it be bladder control or walking. So every time I think i may stumble a little (which is my usual modus operandi... ie I'm clumsy) I flash a thought of "Run to the hospital and have my spine cut out". So the challenge, again, is not panic.

The next step; maintain vigilance, stay out of the gym, return for another MRI the first week of August, and a followup neuro visit the next week.

Easy enough, but this is still really annoying. I don't like the feelings of numbness. I don't like the constraints on my activity. Worst of all, I don't like thinking that some sensation I haven't noticed or paid attention to in the past could be the first step to paralysis. In short, I don't like having to realize I'm not invincible.

Nest issue: The first blood work came back with a anomalous reading of excessively high liver enzymes. That was surprising, but also surprising is otherwise I'm in pretty damn good health. My cholesterol is not high, both good and bad are in the good range. Blood sugar levels are good. I do have what is called "white coat hypertension", which basically is high blood pressure brought on by seeing a doctor. Hard to believe that getting a call "Got your MRI results, we need to see you immediately and set up a consult with a neurosurgeon" would get ones blood pressure up. Given my level of health and diet for the first 30 years of my live that's pretty good.

But the enzymes. These can be caused by any number of issues, including liver damage. Now, I've been known to have a drink or two more than I should on rare occasions. So, when I was ordered to get an ultrasound to determine my liver health I was a little worried. The results however came back that I have a healthy, unscarred, unfatty liver. I do however have a gallstone. For the moment, it's not affecting or blocking anything. So, we'll deal with that later. Still no reason for the high enzymes... except I was on pain killers and muscle relaxers for the 4 days before the blood test.

I don't use pain meds often. It's gotta be pretty rough or distracting to get me to take an Advil. And one of them usually take so much of the edge of I'm good for the day. Part of the upbringing was that pain doesn't hurt, it just feels different. Well, that's just stupid and I kind of want to punch the person that told me that. Pain is a defense mechanism, it tells you something is wrong and you should probably check it out. Sometimes it can wait, sometimes it's good pain (sore after a workout or when you're handcuffed to the bed and the hot candlewax... never mind). But my youthful "don't think about the pain" mantra probably isn't gonna work much longer.

Anyways, so I'm hopped up on painlkillers over the weekend. Probably cause of the high enzymes. Waiting to hear back from a second blood test. But since it was due back this past week and no "I need to see you immediately" calls came in, I think I'll live. In a side note, a discussion with a coworker revealed that he had also in the past couple weeks had the same enzyme issue and went through the same sonogram procedure. Nothing found. We've concluded that it was the diseases spread in the workplace (probably by a particular person who seems to developed a particularly flattering cough that's reminiscent of a cross between the bubonic plague and pneumonia).

So, that's where I stand medically. It's a waiting game now. I really hope my health return to it's nominal level in short time. I have big plans coming this way. I've already had to shelve some things for this month. Not to mention I'm starting to feel restless and this need to get out of town.. well country.

That's the latest update. Thanx for all the support through these trying times. :ater!

Hey, Hey! What's going on!

It's been a while since I've put words down on the pixels of the screen. I'll try to catch up on what's going on in my world. And a few comments on recent events.

First. This whole Weiner thing. I have two things to say. In his defense on not resigning, if we demanded every congressman who lied or misled the American public resign... We would be out of congressmen. Not entirely a bad idea. Ok, that's all the defense I can must for the guy. He's an idiot! Everyone under 35 knows anything you put out there in digital form will be found. It's never truly deleted from the servers. That's the both the beauty and the danger in the online world. It ensures that our important digital keepsakes and messages make it through multiple catastrophic server failures, but it also ensures that we can be tracked by our digital footprint. And if the Representative from NY thinks he San send dick pics around and not get busted... He's an moron. That sort of hubris has no place in public service. Unfortunately, he's not the only one that is affected by that particular disease.

Budget battles... Apparently the US is about to hit it's debt ceiling. And the republicans are blocking a raise of said limit. I find this a bit hypocritical, since it was raised 5 or 6 years under the last administration. But hey, now we need to reign in spending. Or just spending on things we don't want to send money on. In all fairness, the dems aren't really going gangbusters on cutting meaningfully on the budget. I really hope this gets fixed, but im less than optimistic. Here's a simple plan. Quit spending money on stupid things ( studying migration patterns of rodents) and make people pay their taxes. Dn't raise them per se, but close the loopholes that allow a highly profitable company pay $0 in corporate taxes. I think that's fair. Hell I'm willing to kick in a $1000 more a year if it means the fire station a block away stays well trained and equipped and the bridges I cross on the way to work won't fall down.

Alright, enough of that. More about me. A few weeks ago I was able to have some much needed Grace face time. I spent the weekend in ATL (which incidentally had been rated the Best Man City in America by Maxim magazine) and was able to see some friends and do the general hanging out I enjoy so much. Other than the gathering at the Pollard Palace, there was lunch with Ginger upstairs and to the left, some quality with Jersey over beers and baseball, a nice quiet evening with Maggie with takeout and deep conversations, cheap Braves baseball with free Ludacris to follow, and a family visit for my nieces 11th birthday.

All good times. I'm still really pondering the condo in the city, but for now I'm on hold due to potential of an unscheduled financial outlay that may be in my future... more on that later.

This past week I've been looking back over my shoulder a bit, thinking about some of the good ole days. As Billy Joel said "the good ole days weren't always good," but it sure seems that way. I think there's a few triggers that got me thinking about this. I watched a special on SNL from the 90's, a few of the musical selections really brought back memories. I've always been a fairly musically inclined person, and tend to associate events and places with what was playing on my radio/portable cassette/portable cd player. Remember those? The seem so archaic now.

Anyway, listening to the skits I remember laughing about with friends in school on Monday, or a particular song that brought a flashback of that never ending bus ride from nowhere USA to the next nowhere USA. Also thoughts of old friends, some who I don't talk to enough now, or who aren't here to talk to. The days of living at home and making too much money for any mid 20something should while having fun at work. Sundays at Fellinis or Friday's at Bar in Buckhead. Saturdays at the Chamber.

Another catalyst for this nostalgia comes from a book I'm reading. It's about Dave Matthews Band (go figure). And with the walkl back through their history I find myself thinking back to when I first heard a particular song and how I related it to the high and low points of my life. Apparently, I'm not the only one that does that since the book has tons of testimonials from similar people. Of course the memories of 28 concerts jumble together. The first one way back in 1998, the most recent one last year, my last "date" with my ex-fake girlfriend Grace.

So, for the last 13 years that has been a staple of my summers... A random date and a DMB concert. This year, I have no plan to see them, since they aren't really touring. I'm a little put of about that. Those concerts were always little breaks from real world, and no matter how bad a mood I was in before the shows, I always came away feeling a lot better about life. There was a time when I could escape the real world for months.... Ah Drum Corps tours. No real responsibilities... My day scheduled down to the minute, meals provided, no concern about getting from point a to point b. Surrounded with friends (almost too surrounded at times) and only having to focus on the shows. It was nice. Days before cell phones and the interweb.

This morning, as I was streaming Dave FM from ATL through my stereo via my Apple TV (recent purchase, I blame Jersey for hooking me on this). I decided I was over seeing the generic screensaver and created my own. It involved using my Flickr account (which I didn't know I had, but comes with my Yahoo! account) and a few of my fave pictures from the past decade +). Its like a walk down memory lane. If you're interested in seeing whats made the cut, look up swmellodees on Flickr.com. There's only one album.

Oh well, time to look forward. Now seems to be one of those trying times. In the last week I've spent more time in doctors offices than I have in the last decade. Seems I'm not invincible, and maybe I shouldn't have been loading airplanes by myself all those years ago. Or at least I shouldn't have been on a treadmill 3 weeks ago. That's the start.

If you read this far you're obviously either bored or really interested in my life. So I'll share:

After a jog/walk on a tread mill for a couple miles, I immediately felt sore and hurty. And not the normal hurt, worse than usual. So. I took a week off, got to feeling better and went back for some elliptical action, which treats my knees better. Apparently the muscles weren't as healed up as I hope and I was again hobbling about. Then, while brushing my teeth 2 Thursday's back, I straightened up after a spit in the since and felt a pop in my back... Immediately I grabbed the sink and waited for pain to start shooting from somewhere. It never came, and off to work I went.

Through the night I started feeling a little numbness in my posterior, and though maybe I'm sitting to long. Standing and walking didn't help. So when I got home I called my doc and made an appointment, the next available one was Tuesday. Ok. Off to sleep I went. I woke up that afternoon feeling worse. Still numb and no my lower back was screaming at me whenever I moved a certain direction. By certain I mean any. So I thought a trip to doc in a box (urgent care) was warranted, he diagnosed me with muscle strain, issued some muscle relaxers and pain meds. Neither of which I could really use immediately. So it was Advil and off to work I went. Luckily since I never take pain meds, one advil usually knocks out anything I feel. I've been told I'm an idiot for not using pain meds more liberally, but I prefer to just endure it.. After all pain doesn't hurt, it just feels different. Right?

I had plans to visit Atlanta that weekend, but when I woke up Saturday I could barely walk and numbness had spread... now on my right thigh and right foot. I reluctantly canceled the much anticipated weekend, too the drugs and spent the next 20 hours pretty much laid up on the couch or bed sleeping.

Tuesday rolls around and while the muscle pain seemed to mostly be waning, the tingling and numbness still persevered. After relaying to my doc the symptoms, he ordered a blood test and an lower back MRI, arranged for Friday. After work I headed to the hospital to Ne body scanned. I kept wonder why everyone asked if I was clausterphobic, now I know why. Turns out I'm not. The tech told me to expect the results to be at the docs in 2 business days. On my way home I called my doc an made another appointment for this coming Tuesday. Then off to sleep I went. 2 hours later, my doctors office is calling me. I wake up and answer to be told my MRI results are back and doc wants to see me as soon as possible.

This can't be good. So I roust up and head over in a near state of panic expecting to be told I need a new spine immediately. When I got to the office I had to wait about 45 minutes to be seen, which actually helped calm me down a little ( though my blood pressure readings seem to contradict that) thinking if it was bad they'd be waiting with an ambulance.

Finally the news, a couple of discs in my lower spine were bulging a little, but a third one had actually broke off a chunk that had pressed on several nerves and I had a sever spinal stenosis. I'm not really sure what all this meant, but severe sounds bad. He also said he wanted me to see a neurosurgeon that afternoon. Yeah, can't be good. Oh by the way your blood work shows you have abnormally high liver enzyme rate... but that can wait till next week. In other news my cholesterol is good, my blood pressure is normally good ( that day it was reading a little high but we'll not worry about it).

So he called the neurosurgeon, of the two one is on a mission trip and the other was in emergency surgery all afternoon. So he got me in to see a PA, and off I went to doc office number 3 for the day. There were more questions and history and finally the PA came in and did an exam which involved a lot of poking, prodding, and pushing me. Then she explained what the MRI results were in more specific terms.

Three of my discs are dehydrated, one had a chunk break off and that's floating in the spinal cavity and causing the stenosis (which means narrowing, and I had thought they were two separate issues from the previous conversation with my doctor... Not his fault, he's not a neurosurgeon). There had been some situational improvement from the fisprst visit, which was good. And I seem not to have any issues with my motor skills, also good. So it seems some sensory nerves were being impacted. I also learned that your spinal cord stops a lot higher in your spine than I though... again good news.

Then came the "here's what we can do" conversation. The Physician Assistant had talked to the actual surgeon (who also had seen my MRI) they had agreed that right now, I was not in an emergent situation. So we'd start with some medications to see if we can get some improvement. Or, if I wanted to, we could schedule a spine surgery. I went with the medication. However, if I start having issues with motor skills, like moving my leg, or bladder control issues, I should immediately get to an ER. So home I went, and a quick nap (try sleeping after that... It takes a high level of exhaustion... Luckily I had achieved that level) before work.

So all night at work, I'm moving and walking, just to check if I still can normally. Bathroom visits were hyper analyzed to try and remember if this was how I normally peed (have you ever noticed your urinary habits before? Me neither. So knowing it's normal or not wasn't the easiest thing to determine).

I started the meds the neuros issued that might, and by the time I got home I was feeling a little better. A lot of the pain in the areas has gone. Still some numbness. And I'm told to not do anything physically exerting or any lifting. So I have been ordered by my doctor to be lazy. I can do that!

So after near panic attacks Friday, I'm feeling better and hopefully on the way to a non surgical recovery. Just incase, I have a down payment sitting in saving account for either a condo or a new lower back. I prefer the condo.

So, there you have it. That's what's happening. I'm not looking for sympathy, just an update as to why I may be a bit scarce over for a little while. I do however appreciate the good thoughts many have sent my way. I'll gladly accept them :-). The hardest parts have been A) not assuming the worst based on WebMD results (stroke and paralysis) B) having to cancel plans for things I've really really been looking forward to and C) being open and admitting that things aren't right to the doctors who ask more and more personal questions. I'm now over C and stopped checking on A. B is a work in progress.

Life is currently in progress, I'll make updates as it happens. Thanx for reading!

Still looking for my muse.

I tried to start this yesterday, but quickly found myself rambling pointlessly and with no direction. Seems to be a current theme in my life. SO, I'm going to try and focus and at least make some coherent moves in a specific direction... at least with the blog.

For anyone who is wondering, the whole Dubai thing didn't work out. The stumbling block was the compensation. I'm a high dolla' ho! There were some other considerations but the money was the starting and stopping point. I'm both happy and disappointed that it didn't work out. Happy that I don't have to pack up and leave my pals behind to move to a desert (though to be fair it's a very nice desert, they've done some nice things with the decor). Disappointed because of a lot of the same reasons. I'm not packing up and moving to an exotic(ish) land where new and interesting experiences abound.

So, as a friend so accurately put it, I'm still "trapped". It's not a bad prison to be in, as we at work refer to it as the "golden handcuffs". It's just not where I want to be, both geographically and career wise. I'm paid well, but I'm forever to be in the same position. Why? Two reasons I see immediately.. I have neither the background nor the attitude to move up here. Example, I didn't start at 18 throwing boxes, then drive a van, then go to "Brown U", then go into a management position, and then be moved around (usually the Northeast US) from job to job, then manage to kiss enough ass to be put in charge of airline operations with little or no actual experience working for an airline. Sounds like an implausible career path?? Nope, our new VP of Airline Ops.

The second reason, attitude.. well. I don;t see a lot of integrity as you climb the ladder. Sure my immediate level of supervision are full of smart and good folks. The level of bother decrease significantly above that. I just don't get that either, be the person you are all the time, why do you have to change personalities completely when the door closes behind you? Odd. Then again, maybe I'm just a little bitter from near furloughing and being questioned repeatedly for decisions I made about a flight that have a clear and precise regulation saying "don't fly there".

So... something else has come up... and we'll see. Though the idea of moving to this particular town is ugh. I mean, my chance of being murdered statistically increases beyond my comfort zone... and I have a huge comfort zone. I mean, meandering off the beaten path in Bangkok or back alleys of Cambodia seems less threatening. But at least there, I have a previous experience with how the company works and have 7 years built up toward retirement funding already. SO I got that going for me... which is nice.

The other thing I'm trying to figure out is.. how the hell am I broke all the time. For the last month I've been back on full pay (no longer having money deducted to cover a month off without pay). And even had a raise thrown in. But.. seriously, I'm like flirting with zero balances on my accounts. I think I have most of it pinned down to recouping vacation expenses for the last month. I refused to tap into savings (ironically the savings account was originally set up to for paying for that vacation but I changed my mind as to the purpose right before leaving). That international roaming on T-Mobile nearly killed me. Lesson learned there... even though you may be waiting for an important phone call (which never came BTW), buy a local sim card and just call in to your voice mail.

At this point, I stopped writing this to go do something else, and I completely forgot where I was going from here on out. Instead of faking it and starting over, I'll just ramble some more.

This weekend I'm heading south again. G-Ho is home on an RnR trip from 'Nam. SO that promises to be a fun time. I also think there's some family stuff that has to be handled. And that's kind of a blah. But at least everyone seems to be doing well. Mom's new place had a new sky light installed during the recent tornado outbreak. SHe neither asked for or wanted the skylight, and turns out now there's a ton of repair work to be done. Luckily, she had yet to sell or rent the old house so we have a place at least to keep stuff, and her.

There's a couple other new projects in the works, (part of what I had stopped writing to go do). That will be published as soon as my creative staff ha a chance to review the materials. So, look forward to that.

And now, it's time to put away laundry and get mentally prepared for work (is stand in a corner for thinking outside the box). But I'll be thinking of someplace else...

Gotta keep rollin', gotta keep ridin', gotta find what's right

Some days you're just cruising along on the road of life, and it's honestly looking a little boring. You kind of know which way your going, having seen the map before. You don't necessarily like the destination that seems to be inevitable, but you know at some point a junction will come into view, and an opportunity to change directions will present itself. That's life. Occasionally while you're busy looking for that junction and trying to scope out where that turn will take you, a fork pops up in front of you and you didn't even see it coming.

I've seen to have hit that fork. I've seen it before, however last time it led to a dead end. This time???

So, while I've been toying with finding a place in ATL and resuming the commute or buying something in Louisville and making it a more permanent home, exterior options have presented themselves. Quite unexpectedly at that.

As I was making arrangements to view potential residences in the dirty south, and thinking "Hrrmm, I got a bit of a plan going", I get an email that suddenly has me reconsidering it all. And it's a BIG change.

So, as we all do when we come up with life decisions, I sought out input from those close to me. It's amazing how varied the opinions can be. The complete spectrum is reached, from "I think it would be a great experience and you should go for it" to "I don't think I like the idea of you moving to the other side of the planet" (Ironically that came from the other side of the planet... albeit from a temporary resident).

I think it shows that I have some great and varied friends to make some input (and at least one family member who's cool... but she's trying to move to Oz so...). There's obviously some financial considerations that have to be met before proceeding. And though I thought I made those clear in previous conversations, you never know.

And it would be a boon for one of my planned new endeavors. If I was to do some serious travel writing, the opportunities this move would open are immense. Either way, as soon as I settle on a blog name and get going with being grammatically correct for the first time since my freshman year of college, I'll be making trips here and there and chronicalling them in a way that will hopefully become a source of income. Which will allow for more here and there travels.

SO, next week at some point I should be getting a phone call and the negotiations will start. Again, I'm kind of apprehensive that it will be financially gainful for me.. I mean I gots bills to pay and as we say in Amurica... "It's all about the Benjamines"... or in this case all about the Makhtoums. One of the things that keeps running through my head is a quote that I was thinking of using for my blog name...

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

At any rate, I'm moving forward with what is plan A, a place of my own in the ATL. I'm headed down Monday to check out a potential short sale property. I do have some reservations (like can I afford it and will the FHA buy that my primary residence is in a different city than my job). But the price is too good and the location too nice to pass up on at least checking it out further. And, as Grace pointed out, it's only about a mile from the Brick Store Pub. What an amazing coincidence!

So, stay tuned for news on.... something. At the very least a new blog to read. And thank you to everyone that's listened to me waffle on things of late, I appreciate and value all the input. If you would all get together and come to a unanimous consensus it would be easier deciding, but then again what fun would it be to have friends that all thought exactly the same.

I suppose it's time to go cook up some lunch and get ready for work.... ugh.

Listing to Port

For the past few weeks I've been feeling a little like a boat tossed about on a stormy sea.  That feeling seems to have started months ago, prior to my jaunt to the far side of the world.  I guess it started with the self critical rehashing of my last job seeking endeavor.  I didn't feel positive when I left, and thus I felt even less enthused about much else.  It's no secret I'm not the most contented person here in Louisville.  And I really blame myself for that more than anything.

When I came here almost four years ago things looked really rosy.  Major airline, good pay, and a love interest.  The realities of the work environment set in slowly.  I work with some great people, but the corporate attitude leaves something to be desired.  It has to do with my lack of tolerance for disingenuous people.... especially when they are my "superiors". 

The bigger issue though, since work stays at the office when I walk out the door, is the social calendar. The first years I was here I wasn't actually here. My life was still 450 miles away.  The year of having weekends off found me running to the airport on Friday afternoon and jetting south, either Atlanta or Birmingham.  Then I took a weekend midnight shift, which was a dearth to a social calendar. I did however make the acquaintance of a few people outside work, but really who rocks out on a Wednesday night in Louisville?

So, even though my drivers license says I'm a Kentucky resident and my tax returns list this as my primary address, I never fully moved here.  The blessing (or curse) of free flying allowed for the jet setting life.  Now the question comes, do I want to maintain that?  

The last couple weeks I've been halfheartedly looking at potential homes to buy here.  Unfortunately, the housing market hasn't tanked in the way it has in ATL.  And I have high requirements, sort of champagne tastes on a beer budget.  But with some budgeting  I could make it work to have a place here and there.  Though... For how long?  The prospects of satisfactory employment in Atlanta have all but dried up. 

This was on my mind for a good part of my jaunt around Southeast Asia, and since I've been home.  I was thinking of just making Louisville the home, but this past weekend I went back to Atlanta for the first time in 2 months.  And suddenly, the draw has returned stronger than ever.  

I think it comes with the ability to call up some friends on moments notice and suddenly we are gathering somewhere.  Or maybe it's the fun that is a Braves games in the summer, or GT football in the fall (with a sprinkle of some Auburn football). I'm sure once the Lewii and TanJoe return the attraction will grow in intensity. Even though they're settled into the old, married people routines. :-P

There's the attraction of close by family, even though of late that's been the cause of more stress than help.  Nothing terrible, just years of avoiding certain truths that are no longer ignorable. I am lucky though, everyone worries about how I feel.  I feel fine.

This weekend found me at Turner field with Jersey, both of us resplendent in our new Braves jerseys, numerous visits to Taco Mac with Jersey, Charity, Genna, Erika, and Ed at various different times, lunch with a gleeful Maggie (more on that later), and the most surprising meet up with some one from way back when.  You know, back in the day when I went to Sunday school.  I guess I haven't seen Ginger since I graduated high school.  And through the miracle of Facebook, we ended up meeting for food, drinks, and drag queens.  And it was a blast.

Now, lunch with Maggie and Jack (who turned 1 year old today!!) was inspiring.  Jack is looking great, and given his less than ideal start at life, is a modern miracle of pediatric cardiology.  After lunch at Thai Spice (Maggie's choice...  I assured her after a month in Asia I could handle more Thai food because it's amazing), we did some shopping. Since momma needed to find clothes, I was babysitter.  Of course, all the ladies there commented how adorable Jack was and asked me all about him, and of course I just shrugged my shoulders. "How old is he?" *shrug*. " He looks like he's got some sun already, where?" *shrug*. I'm sure the random strangers believe me to be the worst father ever.  Luckily, I'm not the father...  Not that I'm opposed (totally) to kids, or that Maggie wouldn't be a fine wife...  But I'm just not a big enough douchebag to compare to the real father. But at any rate, the reactions were fun. 

And while at lunch, Maggie proposed an idea I find intriguing, and slightly frightening.  After some further research and encouragement, I'm seriously contemplating her proposal. Look for details soon.  It should be fun, and potentially lucrative.  But I mostly think it'll be fun.  

Now it's back to the grind.  Today is laundry day.  With the exception of a load I flew with me to Atlanta (and thanx big time to Jersey for not only for the bed to sleep but use of the laundry facilities) I have about 2 months worth of clothes to wash.  My apartment is a disaster area, and laundry is the first step.  Returning home to a non functional dryer allowed for the laundry pile to reach Himilayan heights.  And now, there's a leaky kitchen sink to deal with.  Well mostly for the landlords to deal with.  But the mess of wet cardboard under the sink was mine to handle.  I'm also getting back on the diet.  While still way to the good side, I'm putting on weight.  And I don't like it.  The new schedule, as much as I hate midnights all the time, will help with it's consistancy.  If only I can get my sleeping  pattern down.

I suppose I shuld get back to the laundry, since apparently it won't put itself away...  I know I tried to wait it out. I have a list of other things I need to do...  Starting with learning to be a better proofreader.