Its the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine!

So, I'm chilling at home last night watching TV and this special on ABC catches my eye. They're talking about all kind of cosmological and astronomical events. That stuff really fascinates me, quantum theory, how the universe works and all that. So I start watching. Then I realize its about how the world is going to end. Everything from a massive Gamma radiation burst to black holes passing by... and on to Artifical Intelligence taking over and super volcanos under yellowstone.

All I was really struck by was that... the more we learn about the universe around us, the more likely it is the human race is going to end in a massive extinction event, which is always overdue or due to happen at any time. From another Ice Age (that we're over due for) or the massive eruption of the yellowstone super volcano (which we're also over due for) to the sun flaring up and everyone on earth gets a really good tan (luckily we got a while on that one).

If you watch Discovery channel and National Geographic channel, you'd think the world is going to end tomorrow. I'm almost surprised there's not panic in the streets (or maybe that explains the drivers here in ATL). But can we get some new scientific knowledge that perhaps is good news... like we found a weed in the Amazon instantly burns off excess body fat, increases sexual stamina, mellos everyone out where they can enjoy life, is non addictive, and only requires one pill. So science people, get on this.

Again, if the world is going to up and be sucked away tomorrow by a "andering black hole", I think we should have a massive party tonight!

And just think how improbably with all these things in the universe thats trying to kill us off, that we have lived this long. Kinda makes you think there might be something else going on out there don't it.

Just remember, everything out there is temporary. Life is short, lets play hard before we run out!

'm the type of guy who will never settle down

I'm realizing that I'm writing my blogs at the wrong time of day. I seem to have the most profound thinking spells when I'm attempting to fall asleep, and your mind just won't shut up. And now, after having slept a little bit, I can;t remember any of the great philosophising I did. The problem is if I started writing right then, I'd never get to sleep. Woe is me.

I'm still having the feelings of needed to run away. I don't really know why, but maybe its just time to go again. Oh, now I remember what i was thinking about earlier... the memory part fo the brain still works! I was thinking back to being in Sydney. Many of you know i took 2 trips down. The first one was a blast, the second one was a recovery. I left Atlanta in an almost depressed, heartbroken state. It was so bad, up until I got on the plane I was thinking about cancelling. It didn't help when I got there my hostel reservations had been lost.. and had no place to stay. Luckily the nice people there found a spot for me to sleep. What do i get for staying in a place called The Funkhouse (and it was not the nicest place, but oh well)

But the main memory fo the trip is alot of good advice i got from random people. The best was from this girl who i met on New Years Eve, I don't remember her name, but all she said was "Just be yourself James, and people will love you". For some reason, when she said it, it just stuck in my head for the next 3 weeks, and the next few years. And after the rocky start, I had a fabulous time. Saw some stuff that was amazing and beautiful. Met some women who were likewise. It rocked. And really, i had no itenerary for the entire trip after getting to Sydney, but i made it work and had a blast, even with numerous hickups along the way.

So, even through the depression and the heart ache and the general misery of the months prior, one phrase, "just be yourself James" solved it all. How great is that. And occasionally I lose sight of that little idea, and I find myself bending to please others. I kind of benn feeling that way of late. I'm changing that.

It sucks when we lose sight of so much due to the world around us and the pressures it exerts. You just need a moment to refocus on whats really important. I'm in definite need of an adventure... now I just need to do it... thats always the hard part.

On a side not, I think i should give Grace and Tanya some credit. I used the word Kerfuffle today. As in.. "The hydraulic system on 274 is all kerfuffled".

He took the midnight train going anywhere...

I can't really think of anything exciting to write about. Everything has been sort of subdued here lately. Even the wild outings have been some what less wild. OK, so really there has not been much outings. Some of us have been personally relating to some events of the past. And others have just been thinking about them. But mostly it just reinforces the "carpe diem" attitude i like to have, though sometimes I tend to take things a little on serious side, I just don't show it.

Last night after dinner, I was driving home (with a hottie next to me... I like to brag) and we had some music cranked and the windows down. Its was so nice. I really didn't want to come home. It was just a nice drive and the stars were shining. Almost an escape from the world around. But as much as I would like to escape, theres a few of you guys I'd like to drag with me. I enjoy the company and I find I'm happier when we're all out together.

So, my brother sent me this for a personality test. And being rather bored at work (and unable to think of anything to write) i took it. The website is http://www.cmi-lmi.com/kindom.html . It gives a brief personality description and how it arrives. Mine came up as:

Your distinct personality, The Discoverer, might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. Your overriding goal is to go where no one else has ever gone before. Regardless of the number of available natural problems to be solved, it is not unusual for you to continually challenge yourself with new situations or obstacles that you have created. You are an insatiable explorer of people, places, things and ideas. You thrive on constant change and anything new or different. On the positive side, you can be creatively rational as well as open minded and just. On the negative side, you might be an impractical and indecisive procrastinator. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

I can see a lot of that in me. I suppose this is one of those new management types of things (he's the real corporate type... i tend to be the more anti-establishment in the family). What yous think? Its only an 7 or 8 question test and its interesting at least. If u take it, lemme know how u come back!

If any of ya'll were in the greater PTC area around noon today, you may have been treated to a couple of low fly passes of a Whiskey Oscar Alfa MD-11 shooting approaches to Falcon Field. Not often we get a widebody jet flying 1000 feet over town. Under the auspices of doing a MX flight, they had to do some approache, but I think the Director of Ops and Asst Cheif pilot just felt like joy riding. It was neat to have them fly over HQ at 2000 ft. Grace should have been here for that!

I want to go exploring... but first a nap.

Wheres the love in a lap dance?

Well, almost. Its technically a different day, but who cares. I'm back at work, fairly bored. I've finished my extra projects. I've finished my flight plans. Its quiet and I'm sleepy. I can here my bed calling my name.

I'm fairly upset (again) at the news media. There has been an airliner crash. In less than 24 hours, we've pretty much investigated, tried, and convicted the flight crew. I don't know how much you guys know about the NTSB and their process for determining causes of accidents, but its not a quick judgement. You may get to preliminary hearing by this time next year, with a final ruling issued 6 months after that. And the people that work for them... well, they know everything about everything pretty much. And they look at everything.

But again, the attention span of America has shortened (mine too) so much that if its not in our face constantly we forget, or we demand to know why within the hour. I do hope for the families that there is quick resolution, at least we have a idea of the problems. My biggest concern is that if they did depart from the wrong runway, that hopefully it was not just carelessness... that there was a mitigating circumstance. Thats enough about that. I'll wait for the experts to speak.

I'm really not looking forward to September. I have horrible Septembers. I don't know why, but bad things happen to me in that month. There are good things too, but nothing comes to mind. Hopefully, since this past weekend had some trying moments, that we got the bad voodoo of September out of the way early. Keep your fingers crossed.

But on the upside, it should cool off as fall arrives and football season rolls around (GO JACKETS!!!!!! GO NINERS!!!!!!!).

Push through it

Push through it
Current mood: sore

I learned something today. I'm really not as young as I tend to think I am. I'm horribly out of shape.. well, unless that shapes a ball, then i'mpretty close to that shape. Today the 3 Rays, Jr, David, and I met for some tennis. It wa shot, but we persevered. I sucked, but i kept playing. I did better than the last time some one tried to teach me to play, which has been about 15 years or so now. I've learned that u don't swing away like its a baseball.

But I learned that I, who lives too much of a sedentary life can't just walk out on to a court and start playing like i did when i was 15 years younger and 70 pounds lighter... After learning I can't accomplish the feats of youth, I have resolved to go back and try it again. I tend to remember the teachings of a person who had a lot of influence on my youth. Tommy Allen. One the things he got through to me is if you decide to do something, no one can stop you. You brain can tell your body to push on through pain and heat and tiredness. That probably why i played (i use that term losely) tthe second game with JR after i felt my lower back getting sore. Again, probably not the brigthest thing..

So after an hour or so of chasing a bouncing ball around a court, I'm tired, I'm sore,. But i feel better than i really have in a while (if only i didn't have to work tonight). So, i think I'm going to do it again. Anyone have a racquet they want to sell me? Or wanna take on a horrible student to play with?. I was beaten by a 10 year old.

Soon all our lives will be swept away

Many of you know Sarah, if not personally then through me talking about her. She was a former co-worker at my last airline and a good friend. She called this morning, we were planning to get together today and enjoy an afternoon just hanging out. Sarah called to tell me she couldn't make it today, her sister and my friend, Ruthie, was killed ina car wreck yesterday on her way to work. AFter some tough times and maybe a couple of bad decisions, Ruthie had got her life back on course. She was a very ahppy and smiling person. Thats how I will always remember her.

Just anohter reminder that life is fragile and often too short. Enjoy the time you have, and spend as much of it as you can with the people you care about.

My shadow's the only one who walks beside me

Its never a good when you start the day with a phone call from your brother to tell you Mom is in the hospital. Appearently mom needed a cardio test thing.. you know where they stick a wire through an artery in your thigh and slide it up to your hear to make sure eveyrthing is working. Well, the good news is Mom is all good with the heart, and was only spending a few hours in the hospital. And mom being mom didn't want anyone to worry so she told no one. Seems to be a common theme in my family, dad had a quadruple heart bypass and didn't tell anyone until it was all done.

Still, theres nothing good about hearing that your mother is in the hospital, and we always tend to jump to the worst conclusion. Luckily looks like mom will be around for a while!

Otherwise, i just been running errands. After last nigths trivia festivites, i kinda just needed a day to do nothing, thought the laundry is still piled up, but thats simple enough to fix. The detour to the hospital blew my whole schedule for the day, because u all know I'm all about schedules! But at any rate, last night was fun, even though we didn't win. But its not about winning, about getting out there and play... no thats bullshit, its all about winning! And having a good time. And midnight swimming in apartment complex pools... unfortunitely the ratio was very skewed against me. I blame Charity for that. She thinks I'm fat, thats why she wouldn't come swim.

Oh and another thing, how do u teach and entire generation of people that theres 9 planets, and then suddnely go "Oops, we were wrong, we're not going to call Pluto a planet!" I mean come on, every science book in the world now has to be changed because the scientist types just decided Pluto is too small... why is it always about size!! I"m with you JR, we need to rise up and fight the arrogant asses who call them elves scientist. I spent 8 years in college, they're no better than me!!!

I was seriously was sort of put off when i read that about Pluto. Let just change the definition of a planet and make little Pluto feel welcomed.

Well, I'm going to go start with the cleaning, I'm not feeling quite so overwhelmed by the disaster that is my apartment... and sometimes my life. Its a good day.

Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

I got sleep today, and it was good. Except the phone kept ringing. That in itself doesn't bother me so much. I usuallly turn my cell phone to silent and put the house phone out in the living room. What bothered me today was the same person kept calling and hanging up, and never a message. This started about 3 pm. I checked the caller ID, called her back around 2100 when i woke up. WHen I told her I had been sleeping, her repsonse was "thats what i thought". Well, if you thought I was sleeping, why the hell did you keep calling me?

I don't want people to think they shouldn't call me. Please by all means do. I love to be called, makes me feel wanted and loved. But I'm often going to be asleep or, on the rare occasion, busy doing somehting and can't answer. Leave a message.. i'll call back. But if you know theres a 90% chance I'm sleeping, don't just call every hour to check if I'm going to answer this time!

Now on to more fun stuff... Lets move on to planning the Vegas vacation. November 9th-12th. Thursday through Sunday. Now accomodation. I'm looking around rooms. And I would love to get head count of attendees. I know some of you are unable at this time to committ for whatever reason. I may just get one room and we'll pile into it... bring sleeping bags! Any suggestions for inexpeinve lodging are most welcome.

Anyways, next on the agenda. The party mentioned in last night's blog is not being organized by myself. A is in charge of this one, so there's no way to really plan for that yet. Basicly I can't tell you when, where, what time, or what to expect. Should be fun! Grace, this could be your chance to get her back!

Other than that, its my Friday!! Yay!! Days off... I need another vacation. And yet, I'm planning one. Oh and there were AP reporters and photographers in the office yesterday doing a story about us, maybe Ya'll will see me in the news... and this time not for being arrested!

I think we're gonna tkae a break from music trivia... i'm running out of good material. It'll be back...

Its a shame theres no one to blame for all the pain that life brings

So is it wrong i prefer to work alone than with others? Well, with most the people i work with at least? Perhaps I'm just a control freak. I sometimes feel that when some one else is here (depending on who it is) I have to relinquish some of the control of what's going on in here. I'd rather just take on the extra workload and responsibilities and do it all myself. At least I know its done right.

A few of the people here shun responsibility to a degree I just can't imagine. And they have children! I mean, they're not willing to step up and take on a challenge a put their name on a flight plan. Or they'll leave your name on it, and send a email to please sign it when u come in next shift... after they changed something. Just grow some balls people, take responsibility for your actions. So you may screw up, its a learning opportunity.

In my job, there are 3 people who are signing off a plane can fly. A mechanic, a dispatcher, and the captain. Between the 3 of us, we have (usually) a good knowledge of what you can and cannot do. Theres some grey areas... well, not too me. Unless I'm specifically told you cannot do something, then its perfectly legal... go fly be free!! I'm nto going to ask a crew to do something that would make me not get on that plane.

All that being said, this a job where you occasionally have to make a decision. Some of these people just need to nut up and make a decision. Hopefully you have the knowledge to make informed ones... if not, well.. you're in the wrong job.

And I wonder how they live their personal life.. if its an hour process to decide whether to wear the red tie or the blue tie. It seems to a societal (i just made that word up i think) issue. I was watching Fox News here yesterday, and one of the stories about the Jon Bennet Ramsey suspect indicated his mother tried to kill him as a baby, as if thats a good reason for him to kill a child (and do what ever else he did I don't want to contemplate).

On a side note, I've started reading this book thats called "Lamb". There more in the title but I can't remember the whole thing right now. basically it is a fictional account of the childhood of Jesus told by his best freind, Biff. its quite funny, and although I'm only a few pages in, its making me think... If you believe Jesus Christ was the son of God, what was it like for a 9 year old to go around reviving dead lizards and performing other random miracles. I'll let you, my loyal blog readers, know if its worth the read.

For now, Its back to work. Stay tuned for a possible party announcement.

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

I'm taking volunteers. I need to clean my apartment, but its gotten so bad I just don't know where to start. It salmost overwhelming. Its not like its horrendously filthy, but just cluttered. Things need to be put away, vacuuming, the dish done. I'm starting to forget which pile is the clean clothes. So if anyone feels they need a project for a day, my apartment is available.

Like alot of things, i feel a bit overwhelmed at times with keeping the apartment clean (mainly because i let it go until it overwhelming), Every now and then I stress about money, especially when I have unplanned expenses like car repair. I honestly have this feeling my car is about ready to go Tango Uniform on me. And theres other things in my personal life I want to change, but just finding a place to start is tough. So much to do, so little time.. and sometimes, even less motivation.

So i'm back to working now, and it sucks. I have this sleeping problem. The entire time off I had no issues getting sleep, well other then being out all night. But my current work schedule, I just seem to be unable to sleep more than 5 hours. I'm hoping this will change next month when my schedule changes. The only downside now is I'm working Labor Day weekend... not that I had big plans.

No suggestions on a new career choice yet, but I did find a job dispatching in Macau. Kind of a long way to go, but I'm havng the same feelings a friends... "I need to move away". I"m still dreaming about being on the beach in the lower Caribbean area... running a small, funky bar where pirates and expatriates hang out. I need to stop listening to Jimmy Buffett songs.

And speaking of dispatch jobs, if anyone is interested, I know some one who is looking to do classes to get your FAA Dispatch License here in Atlanta. If anyone's interested, for $4000 you to can have an FAA certificate. And besides, I'm bucking for a job teaching...

Thats it... I'm gonna pretend to work and try to stay awake, we're expecitng a visit from our new FAA inspector this morning... joyous joyous yay. Yesterday no one seemed to wanna play music trivia... It was Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven." If anyones up for it, i think Thursday night we'll be doing trivia at B-52's and its Jersey's welcome home party.

I miss Jersey!!1 though she texts and calls everyday.. she rocks my face off (sorry Grace, i had to use the line... you rock my face off too).

Gone looking for a place to start.....

There are two paths you can go by, but in the long run theres time to change the road you're on

I'm back at work, and its nice that nothing has changed... well at least for the better. Theres emails about people not doing things correctly, all anonymously unsigned. And theres an email about decorum in the office here. Apparently there are too many virgin ears around here for "course" language. I would like to give a big WTF to said people. Every now and then I just need an explicative to really get my point across to the morons that invade my world.

Yes i know that sounds a bit "course" and possibly arrogant. Well, i'm not arrogant, I just know I'm better than them. At least when it comes to knowing my job... and often theirs. Not to say i don't make mistakes, I do... but I don't intentionally try and may others like a dumbass, and then be wrong. Ahhh pilots. (sorry for all you pilots out there... I'm generalizing... but like Grace told me "its not a stereotype its a statistic").

So as you may can tell I'm thrilled to back at work. i was almost calling in until i saw I was working with Leslie. She makes me smile and we have a good time working together. Thats another part of the big move. I get to work with Leslie more! Too bad shes sick and not her normal chipper self, and insists on putting her cold hands on my neck. I think I know what the cold hand of death feels like.

Otherwise, I don't have much else to say. Theres still a continuing trend among people of not returning calls and text messages... And i just upped my plan limit on text messages to unlimited (after going over by 400 last month... thanx Grace and Jersey).

And Total Eclipse of the Heart was correct. good job Ray and Grace!! However no one seemed to wanna play on the "mirror" title. The answer was of course True Reflections by the Dave Matthews Band, but Boyd Tinsley, the violin player, sings it. This one's a classic...

I'm really contemplating a career change.... is there any job out there I can be happy in???

Once upon a time i was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart

This will be quick one... I'm soggy. I rode home from Taco Mac in the rain... rain hurts at 60 miles per hour in case anyone has ever wondered. Then I get home, and the loaner car from mom apparently leaks water.. judging from the 2 inches of water in the passenger floor. Great.

SO i was having a conversation last night with a good friend and we realized that none of our friends (well, unmarried ones) are in a non-dysfunctional relationship... I guess that would be a functional relationship. Even some of the married ones aren;t ina functional relationship. Everyone I know who is seeing some one, or trying to see some one, serisously or otherwise, seems to be in a rut, just plain striking out, or just ready to throw in the towel.

And it's not the usual stuff either.. I have a pal who discovered the guy shes been dating for a week only has DVD's of porn. Now, I'm not opposed to DVD's or porn. But for your entire collection fo DVD's should not be pornos. And really, how do u show a potential girl that when she first comes to your apartment. I suppose he gets kudos for being up front.. but some things should be left hidden till at least the 4th date or so.

Thats just one example... theres lots of issues out there... I have some.. there are particular persons that have me ready to pull out my new longer hair. It makes me wonder if its all worth the trouble or should I just fly to Amsterdam and hit the red light district every so often....

I still personally think its worth the trouble... but the optimism is waning.

Oh, Me and JR had a great day at Taco Mac with Terrah and Vanessa... and those of you who didn't make it... you missed out! Those of you itnerested in going to LAS with me for my 30th, the dates look like the 9th-12th of November. I'm checking for cheap rooms right now. More to come soon!

When you look into a mirror, do you like whats looking at you?

You know what annoys me? People who don't answer or return calls. Now I know I'm not the best at this, but I have a hard and fast 24 hour rule I'll get back in 24 hours unless theres a time deadline prior to that. Of course unless I'm avoiding you, then I may not ever return a call. Now there's currently no one out there I'm avoiding. I hope no one out there's avoiding me.

And I'll sympathize that sometime you just don't feel like talking on the phone. I spend so much time talking on the phone for work, I just really don't enjoy it alot. And I also feel that I may be intruding into your life, especially if I would be calling while I know your working or sleeping (and with eveyrone I know, its really had for me to remember when some one is working or sleeping). The answer to this particualr problem is the text message... if you don't wanna talk to me, but don't wanna seem rude by not calling me back, send me a text message. I won't be hurt.

OK, thats all I'm going to say about that. Otherwise things are same same, its friday night and I'm kinda bored. Doesn't look like I'm heading out of town this weekend. So if anyone is looking for a good time tomorrow, call me.. or text me. I still wanna go to the beach.

JR, Ray, and Sean (who doen't even know what myspace is so I guess putting his name on here was sort of pointless) we've been requested to find a time to hang Jersey's mirror. So lets coordinate it! She may provide food and be naked... but i can't promise anything!

OK, i'm going to change the rules of the music trivia, Yahoo and Google answers will be accepted... but I'm going to ut a time limit on it. For instance, these weeks. must be down in under 5 minutes, and who ever posts the answer first. Now, since the prizes are either non-existant or really not worth anything.. we're gonna work on the honor system. Today is sort a tough one, but not only do u have to name the band, but the member of the band who normally sings it (or who did it as a solo project).

The end is in sight to working all night around the clock.

Its been a minorly productive day. Laundry done. Dishes done. PIzza on the way. Downloaded Tuesday nights DMB concert of the internet.. I'm very happy with how the recording came out, not that I had anything to do with it.

So with Grace and Friends saga of late with the dryer, and the complaints i hear when people say "I have to do laundry"..i gotta think.. imagine if we didn't have these wonderful machines to do all this for us? Yeah I groan too when i see that pile of dirty clothes that is about 2 days from walking themselves out on their own... and really all it involves is me walking 15 feet, throughing it in a washing machine, putting some soap in, turning it on and leaving for about 30 minutes.When the washer is done, all I'm doing is tranferring the clothes 3 feet to the dryer, turning it on, and leaving for about an hour. Boy thats rough... imagine if he still had to handwash our clothes... I'd be being new clothes weekly. I still have a problem actually getting the clean cltohes form the dryer to a folded or hanging state.

Yes i can be that lazy. I usually have a pile of clean clothes next to a pile of almost clean clothes (the worn once or so without food spilled on them)... and then the pile of funky dirty clothes.

Now the weekend is coming, and I'm off. I'm really having a hard time deciding what I want to do. The choices are endless... well not really. But theres a choice... and moral delimas that come with each option. Damn morals... I really just need to lose those.

Grace got the quote, good for her... too bad there was no prize for that one. This ones a bit more obscure... double points if u can tell em the home town of the band. Pizzas here, later.

People in every direction, no words exchanged no time to exchange them

Once again, there was an excellent Dave Matthews Band concert last night. And I have new stats and heard great music.. and there were special guests. But the most amusing part of the night was the people. One huge surprise was an alum from my Drum Corps that sat behind me. He regcognized me and I felt bad because... well, I couldn't remember his name. I knew the face, but the name just didn't come. But its Casey if anyone wants to know, and even though I had stopped marching a few years before him he still recognized me from being around the corps. That was kewl. And very nice to meet his girl (also a SW alum). It always good to see Southwind people out and about.

The other really amusing thing, the same girl who's sat beside me for something like 4 concerts had the seats beside me yet again. Its funny that we know each other only from going to concerts. We happen to have fan club membership numbers a few people apart and always end up next to each other at Atlanta and DC shows. Nifty. Now for those of you who think I'm obsessed with DMB concerts... well, I am.. I'm OK with it... It makes me feel better and i leave with an ear to ear smile. And its damn good music well played by awesome musicians. Its my thing!

Now, on to other things, I was asked if i met anyone interesting on the cruise. Well.. the most, I guess, interesting person I kept running into was this girl who seemed to be fascinated with elevators. She couldn't have been more than 13 or so, and everytime I would get in a big glass elevator... she was there. Running the elevator for whoever would get in. Now on a boat with 2600 people, arcades, games, activites, 3 pools, a rock climbing wall, all this crap you could be doing, this girl seemed to just want to ride the elevator. Usually with no one else. Maybe she was just shy and not good with making new friends onboard, maybe she was just unhappy being dragged on a cruise with her family and wanted to get away (I can relate to both those feelings)... I just kinda felt bad all she had to do was sit on the floor in the elevator. She had very unhappy eyes. I did see her again on the last night, apparently her family was assigned a dining table a couple away from us, and it looked like the normal family, 2 kids, mom, dad.... but she still seemed unhappy. I don;t think i ever saw a smile. I hope she cheers up, much too young to be so disaffected with life.

Many of my friends and I enjoy people watching. For me the airport is the best place, and usually having lots of time to sit there waiting for flights... i get some good watching in. I enjoy trying to place some one with where they are in life or where they are going. Yes there is a lot of guessing and usually some stereotyping involved, but its fun. Just looking at the looks on peoples faces, you can almost tell if they're happy, sad, angry, relaxed, or any number of emotions. And you can make guesses about people walking by... he's coming home from a long business trip... shes on her way to the meeting that could make her career... that family is on the way to Disney World and the kids are pulling mom and dad to the plane... That couple is on their honeymoon and madly in love with each other (those tend to nauseate me these days)... Everyone has a story, its trying to find out what it is that intrigues me.

And thats it for today, more to come soon. And Ray, you get credit for the Jimmy guess on the last blog, but you didn't give me the song title. And just saying the "Cartman Song" for the previous blog is not gonna win you a free beer... Cartman doesn't count as an artist! This one is pretty easy, no prizes....

All over the map, just lost in space with a filthy mind and a choir boy's face

Hello fearless blog readers. I have returned!! (He proclaimed proudly). And i apparently have a much nicer tan then when I left, so thats good. I must say my impression of cruises have been completely reversed. With the right group of people, it can be fun and a good time. I would still rather overnight in some exotic locales (with exotic bars), but there was more than enough alcohol on the boat to occupy me. And the food... imagine a buffett available 24 hours a day... and if u dontt feel like walking to a dining room, 24 hour room service... all paid for... And lets say your at dinner.. and you can't decide between the NY Strip or the Mahi.. well, just get both... it's OK.

So there's lots to write about, lots of impressions of people... and lots of things I wish I hadn't seen, but its all good. In due time I'll put them down on here. Unfortunitely I was unable to hijack the boat... they kept through bars in front me... Sorry to let you down JR.

All in all it was a positive trip... though perhaps I tended to be a bit anti social at times... I just don't like shopping in Mexico... and i found good beer. And I was reminded how much I enjoy swimming in the ocean and being near the sea... I think i was a sailor in a past life. I have an urge to head for a beach again soon... before the tan fades. Anyone interested?

ANd i'm most impressed people are reading this blog... even when I'm not wiritng anything. Again, I'll put more thoughts down soon... as I'm now preparing for tonights Dave Matthews Band Concert.. WOOT!

I'm sailing away....

AIght, I'm off to florida for the boat ride. Be back on Monday. But i just wanted to say wassup to everyone before I leave. I've become addicted to doing this blogs, I think I'm gonna get the DT's shile away.

Anyways, due to some recent work changes, I'm able to publish ates for the Vegas trip. Heading out thursday the 9th and back aroun d the 11th or 12th. Depending mostly on how much money I can scrounge. And for those of u in ATL, Airtran is running a sale!

Everybody needs to come... c-ya
jd

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun.

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun.
Current mood: naughty

OK, Ray wins the music trivia prize... I don't know how I'm going to get it to him as long as he's grounded. Maybe some stealth is in order. Even though he didn't get the song (Voices), he got the band and I'm thinking he didn't google it! Way to go Randy!

I'm feeling very happy today, its my friday, its a game day (My casa at 1700 for a 1715 departure to the Ted). And its a vacation time!!! I've got my cruise pass all printed out and my mommy bought me a ticket on Delta to get down to FLL.. well, she allowed me to use her skymiles to get a free ticket. Mommy luvs me! Except I have to come have a "talk" when I get back, and that concerns me because parental talks usually don't have the most positive of subjects... and I hate it when we get into inheritance and "When I die..." talks. I just don't want to think about such things.

I am somewhat concerned that theres a "Formal" on the boat... I don't own a tux and I am not packing the suit (which is still in need of zipper repair). I guess i'll just sit in my room alone and drink bourbon in pajamas. I'll manage. I will persevere.

I had a chat with some one tonight, and she was very concerned about some personal aspects going on these days. It was very nice to be reminded that my friends really care about me. I heart her!!!

Unfortunitely jersye has decided I'm a project for her... I'm not sure how i feel about that... being labled a project and all, but her intentions are most noble. Perhaps she will be most successful. And I have to agree with her.. "how can all these insensitive asses find people and we nice sane people stay single?"... Of course, I'm not up for dating insensitive asses... been there done that...

Everybody enjoy the weekend, I'll be back in town on Monday, hopefullty with tales and debauchery and immorality... Perhaps I'll take over the boat and start my pirate career!

I can hear the voice, but I don't wanna listen. Strap me down and tell me I'll be alright

Good morning everyone. I'm trying to keep a positive face on... but it's hard. I'm excruciatingly tired. I don't know if thats correct grammar but it seems to work for me. My friends have once again led me astray! I so planned for a quiet afternoon and a good sleep last night, but... alas... I was thwartted and sent to drink beer. And then back to my apartment for swimming.

On the upside, there were some hot ladies there, and they were working the bikinis. Thats always good. But the down side is I had 4 hours of restless, waking up every 30 minutes sleep. For some reason I have a lot of things running through my head. Nothing real disconcerting... just lots of random thoughts.

One thing that struck me tonight was how un-aggressive i can be. I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing, I'm just real laid back. Jersey has a great picture (she says) of me on her sofa all chilled. That's pretty much how I've been going through life. Trying not to get worked up, or overworked, with things in my little world.

But there are downsides. I do tend to wait for things to come, not necessarily going out and grabbing them, even when its right in front of my face. Often I second guess myself, especially when it comes to buying things or deciding what I want to do to amuse myself.

When it comes to women, it's even worse. I'm right there with JR, never knowing what they want. I have a theory about this... it's because women usually don't know what they want. And I have found in the past on occasion what I want isn't anywhere close to what they want. And i don't think I'm the only one with this particular issue.. and I know it isn't isolated to us boys either.

After all is said and done, maybe I should just follow Nike's advice, and "Just Do It"... they say go with your first instinct... I only wish I knew who "they" we're and how "they" ended up. I know my first instincts have ended up in a few bruises and slap across the face here and there.... but I seem to be prospering fairly well and getting on with life.

JR won the last round of music trivia and recieved a fabulous prize. Although, I'm not sure if using Google is quite fair! And your pretty well spot on Grace, the quotes tend to reflect my mood or thoughts... but trivia is still fun to play!

Another crazy day, then you drink the night way and forget about everything

So, I was having a hard time coming up with anything remotely interesting to type about, and then I went and talked to a co worker, and she was telling me something I just had to relay...

So her hair dryer died today, and demonstrating a "can do" attitude, she went to her garage and got the leaf blower out to blow dry her hair. Now I'm trying to picture some one drying their hair with a 4 foot long leaf blower... i find that comical... At least she didn't use the gas powered one. I can see the headline..."Blond dies of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning drying hair". The leaf blower industry would have to put new warning labels on everything!

And you know, all those stupid warning labels we have today are because some one did something something stupid. Some one did use a hair dryer ina shower. Some one did eat the moister absorbant material that come sin the stereo box. Some one has operated heavy equipment after taking 4 tylenol PM (Ok so that was me). And now I can say i know a potential cause of a safety tag. My day is complete.

Well, not really, I have to add 6 beers to my Passport list today... thats by far the most important part of my day!

I have nothing else to say, at least nothing profound. Its time for my OSHA required safety nap... so I can be well rested for Sunday afternoon activites.

Oh, and at a request, I'm going to start naming the songs and artist for the song lyrics I shamelessly steal. The previous blog subject was a line from Pink Floyd's "Learning to Fly". I was going to give prizes for correct guesses but no one has won yet.. or even guessed.

Can't keep my mind from the circling sky, tongue tied and twisted just an Earthbound Misfit

Oh lets lighten things up a little. I'm slowly growing into a good mood. Looking forward to some things coming up; the vacation and cruise, time off from work, Taco Mac on Sunday, baseball on tuesday, and a possible shift change at work. All in all things aren't too bad.

So, the other day I was reading an article from a pilot who flies in to Kathmandu a lot, and there was some interesting things in the article that made me think about some things. The main thing, and I've talked to some of my own pilots about such things, is that when flying over "anti-American" countries, they never get anything but the utmost professionalism. As a matter of fact, there's only one country I can't send a plane over... and who wants to fly over North Korea anyways.

But in this particular instance its Iran. After talking to some crews, they've alwya stated the Iranian controllers are nothing but professionals. Some of the best they say, with clear spoken English that sounds as if your talking to a guy in Kansas. And given the state of politcal tensions between the US and Iran, its somewhat surprising that US commercial aircraft fly the friendly skies over Tehran multiple times a day. Sure, theres some beauracratic loops to jump through, but nothing insurmountable. As a matter of fact, almost every country in the world I can get you overflight permission with in 24 hours if you want to spend the money. Even recently when a US plane had a mechanical problem and had to make an emergency stop in Tehran, the crews remarked nothing but professionalism (mind you there were guys with guns watching at all times).

And I suppose it helps we pay by the mile to fly over every other country in the world. For example, a bill faxed over for a flight that went over Laos a couple weeks ago, $800 in navigation and overflight fees. Thats for approximately 10 mintues spent over that country. What a deal!!

So JR, heres how to fund your revolution, start with a island nation or country thats under a major airway... and charge the hell out of everyone that flies over... and make sure there's no easy way to go around. Works for Cuba.

I guess my real point is this; why is it we can't transfer such an attitude from professionals to the politicos? Again, I suppose you need to not have raving lunatics in charge (hello North Korea!). I used to wonder how such psychopathic maniacs were able to take over nations and convince everyone that its a good idea to invade your neighbors or just kill them all. Hitler did it, Stalin did it, Pol Pot did it, Mao Zedong did it. How did it happen?? And how did normally rational people allow it to happen?

A wiseman once said... "When some one tells you they know whats going on, immediately question that person." I think even us Americans don't do enough of that... and just accept what we hear on CNN and read on the internet. Its unfortunite.

And hows that for ligthing things up???

Visualize Whirled Peas!!!

One drink to remember, another to forget

These last few days, well... the last week really, I've been really introspective. A lot of looking back at where I've been and how I ended up here, and how life has changed me over the years. And one thing thats come up in a conversation with a good friend was the building of walls. While walls can be good sometimes, they keep out rain and cold (and hot depending), they can also keep out those people who do care about you. It sort of goes hand in hand with the trust issues I have.

I can say that I have in the past built up some fairly substantial walls around me. And for the most part, they are still in place. Though, the reasons for the construction have long since faded, the memories linger. And they're not pleasent ones. Some one once said its better to have loved and lossed than to never have loved at all.. well.. the loss sucks. And I'm just venturing a guess here, since I can't say with any certainty I've been in love with anyone. At least never more than a serious crush here and there. Most of them were fairly harmless, but there was that one, the one that hardens you so much you never forget it. I can tell you when it was, I can tell you where I was when the fortress went up, and I can tell you I was very far from the jovial person I normally am for long time. I can tell you the ramparts are still there... though cracks are starting to show... they may be on the way down... ever so slowly. In the end it took alot of miles, alot of beer, a long talks and a couple fights with Jack Daniels, and a lot of silent reflection to get past that particular person.

And its not just those "great loves" that built that wall, but some lost friends. You know how in life you have those people who you think you can't do without. Hard to imagine how things would be without them. Or how you coped before they were around. And you let them behind your great wall, and show them everything that is "you".

Again, there have been people I have let behind the barriers, and then they've become a big disappointment. Thus my trust issues emerge again and we're back to the beginning. I feel I'm really getting better with that, possibly because I have been making better choices in friends of late. Maybe i'm maturing more and I'm able to spot those who are insincere. Or at least if I do spend time around such people i know better than to let them in the fortress.

All in all, I know that in due time I'll drop the walls down, or at leats let the right people in. And I'm defintely lucky to have a great set of friends around me now, with some exceptions who we won't mention... it happens, you need some darkness to make the light shine brighter.

Now it's back to work, and after just 3 days off, I'm having a hard time getting back into the groove... but vacations coming!

Nice girls can like the cock too!!!

So... I'm a bit buzzed, I had plans for the evening but they fell through. It was unfortunate that it happened but I salvaged the situation. I had wonderful conversations with some interesting people (one is responsible for the subject line... it was too good not to share). If I start rambling, I apologize.

One of the conversations tonight touched on a subject thats very close to me. Trust. Yes, I'll admit I have issues when it comes to trust. There are a select few people who could tell me something and I'll blindly trust the words are undeniable fact. Most everyone else, I honestly think theres a 50% chance they're completely bullshitting me. It takes a while for people to get to the point I don't think they may be less than honest with me.

I'm not completely sure why I feel this way, perhaps it has something to do with my childhood, or maybe its because I've been hurt by some one I gave my all too.. I'm sure i could pay a therapist to tell me what he/she thinks is the root of my issues, but I'm not that well off to be able afford a professional. Besides, who cares what some psychotherapist thinks, he doesnt know what I'm thinking all the time. Only I know that. And it doesn't have to be anything all that consequential... meaning if some one says they think I look cuter with my hair longer, my first reaction is "really?", unfortunately in my mind I hear "are they just saying that because they think it is what I want to hear or are they being honest". And its not that the person may have ever given me a reason to think them to be dishonest its just I tend to suspect everyone I meet.

I had a dream last night that I had a conversation with some one I once related well too but in the last year we have gone our separate ways. And I cant remember the entire dream conversation, but it was very disheartening... And those of you who know my history with my friend Gaylene in Australia, you have an idea what may have come about in my dream. I do miss talking to her, and perhaps I was not aware at the time of certain feelings she may have had... and theres nothing I can do about that now, I tend to be really dense when it comes to reading women... We had such great conversations. Maybe some day we'll both get past our pride and hurt and rekindle the friendship... But the point here is she was one of those few people I immediately drop the walls for to get to know. And then, it went bad. Its a recurrent theme in my life, especially with some "love interests". Its hard to give some one your heart and your all, and to trust them to keep it well guarded and nurtured... especially when the past has shown you it doesnt happen to you.

Again, I have to remind myself, the one is still out there looking for you as much as you're looking for them.

And one last thing, I received an invite for my cousins wedding in October, and my name was spelled wrong. I can't believe that they spelled my name wrong. I think I'm going to change it, since apparently theres too many ways to spell Jamie... maybe I'll go by my middle name (I'm not telling anyone what it is). Maybe I'll just change it all together... any ideas?

All that you can't leave behind.

Why is it that good people tend to end up in relationships with not so good for them people? And I believe I can speak confidently on this subject. Having been in a few dysfunctional relationships and observed many more from the outside, I think Im becoming a resident expert on such things.

It definitely pains me to see a friend in a relationship we all know (even him/her) is not the right place for them, but for whatever reason we choose not to end it. Possibly its that misery loves company? Possibly its that we've grown so accustom to the problems facing us we don't even see them anymore, or we've just accepted them and resolved ourselves to living with them. The conflicts and fights are there more than ever, yet they don't seem so bad because we've become desensitized. We just no we're feeling discontent with that status quo.

As the outside observer, I can see the problems and as the listener I've heard the unhappiness in the voices. And I can't say it hasnt happened to me. I've been that person to afraid to end a bad relationship. Either for fear of being alone or for just it just being convenient to always have that other person around... if only to have some one to go to a movie with.

In the end it comes down your mental well being and happiness. Sure there will be arguments and disagreements in any relationship. And one will have make compromises for the good of each other. But when one person is doing all the compromising and your time spent with the "significant other" is less fulfilling and joyful than time spent alone, it may be time to move along.

I do believe there is that perfect somebody out there for everyone... I dont know why I believe this, I just do. I've seen it happen only once... and that one instance gives me some hope... You can't force some one to be that person if they're not. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how much work you've put into, sometimes a relationship isn't worth salvaging. Cut bait and run, and learn form the experience. It will be painful for a short time, but the wounds will heal. And you'll more likely to find your self stronger person when you come out of it. And you won't be alone, there's family and friends around who will be the support u may need.

Heres a hint, we're all afraid of being alone, but its not so bad all the time. You can do what you want to do and be a little selfish, its OK! And you get to know yourself a little more and be comfortable with just you. So as I approach 30, Im realizing that its taken nearly this long for me to become 'comfortable in my own skin. I dont think I'm quite there yet completely, and there's things I would like to change, and I'm working on that. It will come, in due time, And then she'll be there! It may happen tomorrow or in 10 years... but I have faith.