Monday, May 31, 2010

I used to dream about the life I'm living now, I know that there's no doubt I made it

Well, I survived. I made it back to Louisville last night about 11:15 PM a little tired and bleary. The trip to Vegas was legendary. I've been out there more times than I can count, either as a child who was sent to the top floor of Circus Circus $20 in quarters for a few hours or as an Adult who discovered better ways to spend my money.

First off, big thanx to Nate and Angela for inviting me out and arranging a hell of a trip. And a real big thanx to my date for the weekend. Not only was she gorgeous and fun, but Jill was invaluable help to the wedding crew and they all were so appreciative the I roll with such great people. I met some new people and made new friends.

And I woke up Sunday morning on the 54th floor with a beautiful view of the strip on my right and even more beautiful blond on my left.

So, the details, in so much as I can remember or feel should be shared: Decided to hop out to Vegas on UPS plane with one of the other guests. Ed and I got to the hotel about 5 AM. Unfortunately they weren't allowing such early check-ins. SO we walked the strip. There's something about Vegas that brings out the inner outrageousness in people, maybe it's that nothing seems out of place. At 6 AM we passed groups of people coming in from their night out, few very pregnant women in little-ish black dresses (seriously, you go to Vegas 7 or 8 months pregnant???), and people expunging themselves (either pissing themselves or vomiting). Ahhh Vegas... So classy. And where else can you be chilling and see a Michael Jackson imitator just stop in front of a bad and moonwalk by, right past Elvis who has a Mike Tyson voice selling grand canyon tours?

After the walk and a few drinks, the sun was high enough to make the pool seem like a good idea. Well, mostly the idea of laying down somewhere sounded like a good idea (still unable to get in a room at 9). SO, we went out by the pool where I promptly attempted to nap (I've been awake for over 24 hours by now... that how we start the trip). Wasn't easy but exhaustion helped. Finally got into a room about 1. Ed upgraded to a nicer room with a view of the Bellagio fountains. It was really nice, and the Flamingo seems to really be embracing the 60's retro design and pink color palette. For the price though, it's pretty nice and the pool is a party.

IN all fairness, it being a holiday weekend everywhere was a party. That evening I was picked up by the hot girl. She took me out to dinner at a Brazilian place and then a Cirque show. The dinner was all about meat. Unlimited amounts of turkey, lamb, steak, beef, bacon wrapped chicken... and more. The servers just come around with a piece of meat on a sword and slice you off some. Greatest dinning idea ever! After that we rolled over to MGM for KA. My first Cirque De Soleil experience. Now, they have the bar there and I thought a vodka and sprite would be a good idea. SO, the bartender asked if I wanted a small (and held up a standard small plastic cup) or a large. Well, go big or go home right?? SO I got the large. I didn't realize large meant the 32 Oz. big gulp size a la the 7-11. And even better, while he poured the vodka in we had an entire conversation... "So, ever seen KA before?" "Are you enjoying Vegas?" "Enjoy the show and check out the others" "Four score and 7 years ago our forefathers brought forth on this great..." Yes, he seriously poured that much vodka in. After adding a moderate amount of sprite and charging the $20 (not a bad deal considering) he informed me I could get a refill for $10.

So, the KA show. Amazing! They are swinging all around, some comedy thrown in, arrows shooting, sword fighting on a stage that raises, lowers, spins, and rotates from completely horizontal to completely vertical. And, the guy who gets the girl at the end wears a bedazzled body suit and sparkling thong... only in Vegas. Afterwards, we left to go meet up with the group at O'Shea's casino. I thought about getting the $10 refill but realized after the 2 hour show I still had a third of my original drink left.

SO, after more than a few at O'shea's ($2 beers are a treasure find on the strip) we went over to Margaritaville for some food and music. Hilarity ensued... we'll leave it at that. Jill and I went out for a night cap at Hard Rock. And that when I noticed a new trend in Vegas (well, new to me). They're dressing certain dealers in, um distracting, clothing. I mean, how can I be expected to count cards if there's nothing bu barely covered breasts on the other side of the table. I'm sure this is just a coincidence and the casinos' had in no way planned such things.

I finally hit the wall about 4 AM. I think I did well, 32 hours with a 3 hour nap.. mostly by the pool with thumping bass and lots of distractions.

The next morning It was time to move to my room. I hadn't originally planned to be out Thursday, and worked out well that Ed had space before the others arrived. SO about 10 or so I was up and headed to Aria. This is where Jamie became a rockstar, well I've always bee one but some one finally recognized my VIP status.

For my adult life, I've always stayed super cheap on or near the strip. $30 at Circus, $19 at hooters, that sort of thing. This time, sine the bride and groom had bought a package for Aria, I decided to splurge and stay there. Aria is the casino/hotel part of the newest mega resort on the strip, City Center. It's literally a city in itself. I had originally planned to get a strip view room, but the price to upgrade to a mountain view (ie desert) was so close I went for it. Since Nate and Angela had brought a few customers in, the Aria agreed to upgrade us if there was availability. So, I checked in, was was given a key and told to head up to room 54114. That's the 54th floor.. the top one. Once up there, I found the door marked 114... and it wouldn't open for me. The maid comes out and informs me this room was occupied. I showed her my info and she said that can't be right. When I told her I was in a corner suite, she told me there's two on this floor and asked if I was the VIP?? (I know now to always answer yes, or even reply "Don't you recognize me?" and act indignant and demand an upgrade). Turns out she had just finished making up a room for a VIP and walked me over to the door (144). Click, the door unlocked with my key, and I was not let down. See the pictures, but the room impressed the local girl, and she's not easily impressed. I know where I'm going to plan to stay in the future. There are pictures on the my Facebook, since words can't describe how awesome the room was.

Even the elevator knew you were hot if you're on the 54th floor. The rest of the floors, you get a very mechanical number, but on 54 for... "she" gets a a seductive tone, and lustily announces she's "Going down" next. And I'm not even joking!

So, the suite became known as "Studio 54" and was stocked by everyone with beer and liquor. That night we had a few and then headed out for some more fun on the strip. We ended up dancing and partying in a few places. A few of us were left back at Studio 54 for sunrise and drinks. a little after 5 AM, back to bed.

Up again about 10 AM, some more pool time. Ok, let me say this about Vegas this weekend, the amount of really beautiful women out there is incredible. I mean, DAMN! And many of them start "ho'ing" it up before noon. And then there's the classy ones (I lucked out and spent a lot of time with one of the classy ones in particular).

I had for the first time something I've been wanting to do for a while, a professional shave with a straight razor. This one came complete with a face massage, hot towel wraps, and other stuff thetas good for my skin. I was kind of nervous at first, who wouldn't be when a stranger has a straight razor in close proximity to your jugular? But it was quite nice and relaxing, with Sinatra playing on the speakers and ESPN on a flat screen above the chair... rockstar! And damn, my face hasn't been that smooth in 20 years. This might be something I have to do more often.

SO off to the wedding we went. Quick and painless (well, except maybe for Nate :-)) and then back to Studio 54 for drinks. At 8:30 the bus showed. A bus with a stripper pole. Damn!!! We cruised around Vegas... strip, old town, the whole bit. Since we didn't have a plan there was some confusion about where to go.. but we managed to have a hell of a time. Dancing (some one bearing a striking resemblance to me may have been giving lap dances.. yes giving), cocktails (we actually had to stop and buy more alcohol than the 4 or 5 bottles of liquor and case of beer we brought with us). And of course cheeseburgers! Only in Vegas does tipping the McDonalds guy seem like the thing to do (or it's a sign I need to leave soon). That's about all I can do for description of the bus ride, see the pictures for a better idea.

The next day the dream had to end. Time to go home. I've come away with great memories, some new pals, and more respect than ever for a girl I've known for 12 years and seen mature (well, sort of) into a hell of an adult. After all the anticipation of the weekend I was afraid it might not go of as well or be as amazing as I was building it up to be. I was wrong. I think everyone had a great time. And I even won gambling (not much, but it's better than losing).

I've also come back with the realization I need to stop whining so much. I got it damn good. I mean, I'm working on being the permanent VIP status and high roller who cleans out casinos at the craps table, it's a goal. And thanx to my personal shoppers (Grace and J on Monday and Jill on Friday) I looked good.

So, when are we going again??

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